In an ever-so slight and respectful bow to the past, I will openly acknowledge an inner need for myself to write a post that is a bit looser than the previous two.
Yesterday was the last day of my physical rehabilitation sessions over at Alive, Charlotte’s all-in-one community wellness center. My specialist and I were discussing the progress of my exercises, stretches, and pain levels when I was struck by an odd yet familiar notion. This notion was a reminder, an old dusty book of a reminder, tucked away into deepest annals of my mind, the notion that we do not know nearly as much as we think that we do.
For me, physical rehabilitation served many purposes beyond the basic goals of identifying and eliminating pain. Spending two 45 minute sessions a week with a wellness related specialist was self-empowering, an opportunity to learn new ways of taking care of myself, re-learn old ways I thought had been taking care of myself. There is a problem that I am seeing more and more in myself as well as the world, a problem that finds us placing too much value in binary thought processes, a problem that has us building idea houses upon hollow foundations.
Imagine for a moment that many of the fundamental truths in your life are actually false, how does this make you feel? Rehab has taught me that I’ve been doing a myriad of things wrong for long, long time. Simple things like stretching and running, the very base of my fitness routine was ineffective and even harmful. How did this come to be? How could someone who has regularly maintained such an active lifestyle be so wrong at such basic levels? The best answer that I can give you is: experience. The experiences I’ve had with myself over the years had led me to a place where I trusted in myself for no other reason than because it was the way I had always done things. I was sitting on the cushy rehab table talking to my specialist when it dawned on me that all of the basics in my life need to be reevaluated with a critical heart & mind. I am a few months into a major overhaul of how I eat and only just now am I beginning to understand that diet, minimalization, fitness, all of these things are metaphors of each other. We follow the same routines as we always have, for no better reason than that we always have, often to the detriment of wellbeing.
To know one’s self is an odd notion. We will vehemently defend that which we “know” to be true about ourselves in an attempt to maintain false senses of individuality. I am beginning to understand that none of us really know ourselves as well as we think that we do, as well as we want to be true, if at all.
“The human binary condition,” we will talk about this more soon.