Unless my career is exactly one of the things I love to do in life, I’m are often left feeling like I can’t have my cake and eat it as well. When my career pays well enough to easily fund my ability to do all of the things that I love and am able to make time to do, I’m often left feeling like a mouse in a maze with no exits.
The idea of work never ceases to amaze me. I work 8-10 hours a day, 5-6 days a week, on tasks that I would never spend so much time on if I didn’t have to. In fact, it makes me anxious to think about dedicating that much time on any one thing in my non-work life. Not anxious because I don’t want to, anxious because I know how amazing it could be if I let it happen.
I think that my brain has wired itself into thinking that weekday time is all the time. The couple hours I’m left with after working a normal weekday makes me feel like all things in my life need to be cut into these size chunks as well. In fact, the only non-work things that I’m good at dedicating larger blocks of time to are video games, fishing, and laying around. This is not a reprimand, it’s awareness. Saying things out loud helps me think, so this is me saying them out loud… again, and not for the last time.