“I wish we had more normal every day Starbird in our lives,” was one of the last things I said to Ashely before her and Alex headed out early this afternoon. But what do I even mean by this? They were here for a solid week, a super week, and now they’re gone. Friends visiting from afar never end up getting to be a normal part of your routine. There’s always a sense of urgency behind everything you do with them, as if a year can be fit into the span of seven days. The same thing happens when Bob, Rachel, and the kids are here, or we’re in Vegas, or whatever the case may be.
For our seven days, Brianna, Ashley, Alex, and I did make a lot of to-dos into to-dones. Fishing up north was amazing. Friday was super windy with a side of storms, but we still managed to get the boat out and our hooks into the water for a short spell. Say nothing about how many tries it took me to park the boat or how close I might have come to knocking Brianna off the boat… it did get parked and Brianna didn’t fall in. Our night was probably one of the most organic storytelling events that I have ever been a part of. The fire stoked up quickly, and necessarily so. The wind was my friend in that it fed the fire, but also was it an adversary who’s cold bite made the tall flames more of a need than a want. We pulled our chairs as close to the fire as we could, opened a few beers & a bottle of Fireball, and the stories unfolded as if they were telling us and we were the listeners. So lost in the moment, so lost in time, it didn’t occur to us that we hadn’t eaten dinner until Alex popped his head out of the camper door and said, “So, are we having dinner tonight?” That was around 11:00 pm. Don’t worry, we ate, we made sure Alex ate, and the stories did not stop’a flowin!
Of all the great times we shared in those seven days, that is the story that I most wanted to share. As Ashley and Alex were leaving today, I could not shake my last words to her out of my head, “I wish we had more normal every day Starbird in our lives.” Thinking about it within the context of how life with my friends actually is, would I even want the Starbirds to live closer? Seeing them every day for a week straight, waking up in the morning for our coffees, having our wine and movies at night before bed – none of that is normal, but all of that is the best. If I was able to crunch the numbers on how much time I spend with my best friends of the nearby locations, I’d be surprised, shocked even, if any one of them and I get the equivalent amount of time together in a year. We see each other more times but probably not for as much time. And it’s the good stuff that we miss, the best stuff.
My mind is taken back to a time and place where Teresa, Aaron, and I lived together, where Teresa, Brianna, and I lived together, and it leaves me scratching my head. Why were we in such a big hurry to escape out of that cohabitation and into our own places? We have rejected societal norms in so many of the ways that we approach the world, but we didn’t even consider rejecting the cohabitation avenue, at least I know that I didn’t. Living close to each other is great, don’t get me wrong, I just miss all of the effortless interactions that come along with waking up in the same house, eating together, being lame together. What I’m talking about is super idealistically unrealistic, yet that’s how many of the things we’ve accomplished had seemed at first as well. Face the fact that the math doesn’t work that well for everyone in my life, and that’s ok because it works exactly that well for others in my life.
Right now is happening. There is little and less I can do to affect the immediate change my heart so desires. That being said, I’m working on a 10-year plan. There is much and more that I can shoot for in these 10-year scenarios. Whether we have children or no children, live in Michigan or elsewhere, employed or jobless, the possibilities are as many as we allow them to be.
Let’s chat more soon.